I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We're too hungover to prance.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
