I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
