i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
