I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize