I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
