oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
now i know why i became what i already was.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
