Just cropdusted the office
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
