either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
