Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
