Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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