The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
