Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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