Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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