In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
