dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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