gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize