So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
