Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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