Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
