If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
