You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize