I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
