Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
