I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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