I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize