Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
