she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
