just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
