Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have feelings that need drinking.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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