If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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