This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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