She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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