Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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