So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
