dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize