i wish my penis had a tongue
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i out mim tonsoeep
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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