waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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