Me too!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
