'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
