Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
