Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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