never play flip cup with pint glasses
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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