I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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