Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
