The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
