can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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