YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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