apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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