Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I bet he comes in French.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Randomize
