We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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