My girlfriend figured out who you are.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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