Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
