i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
