I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
