she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
