guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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