haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
