were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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