but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize