Your dad touched me again.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My dick has a subreddit
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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