Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
