I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
