He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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