Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
