one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
